Mistakes Married Women Make

Trust me , I write from the position of  knowledge, insight and experience as a relationship coach and counsellor. Many married women face challenges that are self imposed (when you cause the problem yourself) or circumstantially imposed (when circumstances beyond your comprehension or capacity strikes)
Believe it or not, it is not easy to be a woman , especially a married one.  You take care of your husband,  children and home work....seeing all these, I doff my cap for my mother and other married women  there who are responsible. 
Haven discovered these mistakes from different marriages, I decided to share it in order to save marriages from unnecessary disintegration, because I wouldn't want you to loose what you have labored so much to build out of ignorance. 

1.Comparing your husband to your father: no matter how handsome or amazing your father is, your husband is a father to your children as well and should not be compared to your father. Everyone has his/her weakness, do not judge him when he is not doing things right rather, talk with him as your friend not as your boy.

2.Comparing your husband to your ex: Especially your ex that you never wanted to part ways with, let your past be past. Don't ever compare your husband to your ex....infact  most men do not feel happy when you talk about your ex talk more of comparing him to your ex. If you think your ex is better than him, why did you marry him at the first place?


3.A Believe that you married only your husband and not his family: This is very dangerous. Some ladies would say 'I will never marry a guy whose mother is alive' I have only but a word to such people,  may your sons and brother's wives pray like you and may their wishes be granted unto them. Love your husband's family members and friends the way you love him. Many women come to a man's family to separate him from his friends and family, this is wickedness.  At first, you don't know how they started and how they suffered together before you were married into that family, be careful. Remember you have a home, if another comes into your family to do same, how will you feel? Ask people that live happily with their husband's family and friends the benefits, am sure you gonna hate yourself for chasing them away except you're a witch or a sadist. 

4.Explained or unexplained dislike or outright hatred for your mother in-law, siblings-inlaw : like I have said before, love your parents in law like your biological parents. I tell you one thing, I adore those people for raising my 'Man', yes! If I don't love them I will never marry their son because, I won't have any reason to stay if their son gets on my nerves. Some people will say 'mmm I hate my mother in law cus she rejected me when I was coming' while some will say 'I hate my sister in law cus she wanted my husband to marry her friend' habah! Give them the reason to love you and cherish you when you eventually enters their house not giving them the reason to say 'I knew it'  prove them wrong by loving and caring for them, because you won't hate your mom if she offends you. All they want is the best for their son so, make them believe that you're the best. No mother wants to marry her own son.

5.Focusing on the children at the expense of your husband: Children are the second party in your marriage therefore you must take care of your husband like the way you were doing when you first met him. Even love and care for him more for giving you those beautiful children.  Thank him often for providing for the family and don't stop praying for him, because a woman should be her family's spiritual intercessor. Encourage your husband when he is facing challenges. Always tell him, it's well.

6.Prioritizing your job or business above your marriage and family is a costly blunder: When your job or business ends, will you still have a marriage and family to be proud of? Make out time and take care of your family, that should be your first priority. Raise your children yourself, bath them, teach them, do their assignments for them. By so doing, you will know when they are doing well academically and what is bothering any of them. Make them see reasons to call you MOTHER.

7.Telling negative tales about your husband to your family, friends and colleagues will ultimately affect you too. Protect your marriage and don't make your husband an object of discussion at your parent's house. Defend him, cover his shame because your husband is not the worst husband in this world.  Instead of castigating him, pray for him, invite holy spirit to transform him. your family can never solve your matrimonial problems for you if you can't solve it yourself.

8.Deliberate refusal to grant your husband his due respect and regard even if he is erring! No matter how small or poor your husband looks, please respect him. A woman 'must' be under her husband (submissive) most marriage destroyers,  will tell you that you're equal to your husband, my love, please do not listen to them. God made Adam and brought out Adam's rib to form a woman, this shows that one is greater (head) if not, God would have made Eve the way he made Adam. Remember when you disrespect him, your children are also watching. 

9.Deliberate refusal to grant your husband conjugal sexual right or access even when you can: We cannot run away from this particular one. I know it's not easy to satisfy a man in bed especially after a stressful day, but we have to try our best to explain to them for them to understand gently not with a hash tone. Have it at the back of your mind that 99.1% men prefer sex to food. Try everything possible to always answer whenever he calls except you're sick unless you want another to help you.

10.Being dirty and unkempt. Every part of a wife ought to sparkle clean. You can lure your husband into hot romantic blues by your neatness. So its important you keep your body clean 24/7 no matter how busy or tired you may be. A dirty wife is a serious put off! Don't say Zcheche didn't tell you, men are not pigs that enjoy dirty, even the most dirtiest man on earth likes a neat woman. Not only your body, make sure your house is always neat.

11.Engaging in illicit affairs even if your husband or circumstances forced you into it by his wrongful conduct: You cannot right his wrong through this means (by cheating on him) always forgive him and try to find out why he cheated on you. And when he asks for your forgiveness, do not hesitate to forgive him and if he refuses to accept his mistakes, please don't nag. Make use of your kneels, talk to God for he knows the thought he has for you okay.

12.Moving out of your matrimonial home under any guise other than proven continuous case of domestic violence or emotional abuse is recipe for marital disaster. That is the agenda of Satan and you fall for it when you do so. Mmmh! Don't ever try this except he hits you. Don't leave your matrimonial home just because you caught him with your friend or any girl, if you do, you have given your rival the chance to move in with him to your home. Sort it out with your husband and hand your marriage over to God. I know it's not that easy to endure such humiliation that's why you have to pray constantly.

13.Nagging and nagging consistently like you are competing to win ‘’world prize for nagging wives’’ award. Men abhors women who nag. We have talked about this several times, give your husband peace and make him find peace in his home so that he won't be running away in search of  one outside. 

14.Absentee married women who commit their home entirely to nanny, house-helps without adequate supervision take huge risk. Your husband may be at risk, your children and indeed your marriage may be at risk as well. Absentees don’t know what happens in their absence! Cook for your husband except you want a second wife for him. When it happens don't call satan or enemies because you're your own enemy.

15.I don't care attitude: Whatever my husband likes he can do attitude is a terrible attitude. Spiritually and physically both of you ought to be one, so what do you think will happen to the rest of the body when any part of the body is aching or severed from the other? That is what you do to yourself by your ‘’I DON’T CARE ATTITUDE’’! If you're in this category don't worry, soon you will care and by that time, it will be too late for you. 

16.Misbehaving to your husband because the law of the country where you live favors women will backfire on you. If the law helps you get away with it, nemesis will catch up with you through your children later. Do not forget your cultural background no matter where you are, you cannot be African and be American same time. Because if you treat your husband as an educated, exposed and westernised lady, he will treat you like an African man who has the right to marry as many wives as possible, so be careful and wise.

Beloved, all marriages go through challenges and issues. The prove of your readiness to stay married is seen in how you tackle the marital issues that confront you. With prayer, patience, perseverance, tolerance, hardwork and wisdom, all marital challenges can be surmounted. Any beautiful garden that you see is being watered and cared by someone!
The Bible tells us that;

“Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands’’Proverbs 14 Vs 1
Ladies, if you do any of the above listed 16 things, you will simply be pulling down your house with your hands. And as the Bible says it, you are being foolish when you do.

Often Christians talk of the Proverbs 31 woman but how many has observed that the Proverbs 31 woman is a hardworking woman? The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of grace; industry, resilience and service!

If any marriage is not working, when you check, its likely one of the 16 things listed above that is the cause.

Meet us next week Sunday same place for another amazing topic
happy sunday and God bless you all 

please leave your comment  by clicking on that post comment below,thanks.